Workman Chronicles 

By Morris Workman

"French Fried"

Published in Mesquedia

July 7, 2005

I’m not much of an overseas traveler.

In fact, the only time I’ve left American borders was a trip to the International House of Pancakes.

Okay, I did visit San Luis , Mexico back in April, but since the seedy border town scared my wife back into the U.S. within 30 minutes, I don’t think it counts.

However, everything I’ve read and heard indicates that visiting France is like spending $5,000 for a ten-day visit with your in-laws.

Insults, snubs, snide remarks, and being ignored are just some of the features of a trip to Escargot land.

That’s why I’m glad that Paris got the el snub-o for the 2012 Summer Olympics earlier this week.

Word has it that the French, who were front-runners for the gig, are pretty steamed about losing the Olympics to London .

Some say the defeat was due to President Chirac’s cruel remarks about mad cow disease in England and the terrible food found in Finland .

Obviously, Chirac is a devotee of that stalwart self-improvement tome “How To Alienate Countries and Piss Off Allies Without Really Trying.”

Others believe the defeat might have something to do with a certain country’s stance regarding a particular mideast war that is being waged by a couple of Olympic bid hopefuls.

Personally, I think the Paris bid fell to defeat because…that’s simply what Paris does best.

If there was an Olympic Surrendering event, the French would take the gold every four years.

(Okay, it’s a cheap shot to keep running into the ground the fact that the French collapsed to a Nazi marble team back in World War II, an event that occurred long before I was born, but it’s an easy target.)

But I’m still glad that the 2012 Olympics will not be held in France .

One observer sort of summed up my opinion of the country:

“As I have always said, it is too bad that France has to be wasted on the French.”

In light of their regard for Americans, I’m still amazed that France actually gave us the Statue of Liberty back in 1886.

As Dennis Miller once said, “they must have been throwing it out anyway.”

So to any French nationals reading this, all I can say is “Ce qui circule vient autour.”

Or, as we used to say down south, “What goes around comes around.”

Published online at the Workman Chronicles WebLog July 7, 2005.

For more articles or comments, visit the blog at workmanchronicles.blogspot.com.